I'm Sick

I don't know what I have, yet, but I know I'm sick. I'm trying to get in ASAP to see a doctor, but right now I'm stuck with a November 9 appointment. I'd have gone in before now, but frankly, I just thought I was getting fat. My stomach/abdomen keeps getting bigger and bigger, and it's very hard to the touch. Anyone have any horror stories about a "hard, distended abdomen"? I'm starting to look very much like the "octomom," and I've referred to my extra girth as my alien baby. To my recollection I haven't had sex in many years, so if I am pregnant it's got to be an alien because I don't remember the conception. (Could it be immaculate? I don't really think I'm God's type.) It isn't causing any pain - just discomfort and tiredness, of course. And I can barely button the one pair of pants that still fit. (I am also experiencing some occasional severe - five out of five - pain, which I will also bring to the doctor's attention, but I don't think it's related.) This all started several months ago. As I said, I just thought I was getting fat. I frequently weighed myself but my cheap scale didn't show any weight gain. It seemed like all the fat in my body was migrating to my abdomen. Not long ago someone told me about a relative who had this same problem who turned out to have cirrhosis of the liver. That's when I got online and looked up "hard, distended abdomen." And that's when I decided I need to get in to see the doctor before whatever this is gets worse. No, I don't think I have cirrhosis of the liver, but I think I've got some medical condition that's causing my abdomen to grow.

Go ahead. Make your fat jokes. "What would cause my abdomen to get extremely big?" "Eating the Combo number 2 at Sonic." Ha ha. I don't think whatever this is will kill me, so you won't have to worry about burning in hell!

The other things that are probably not related: Around the beginning of October I was sitting here at my computer and I coughed, as I often do. But this time it felt like someone had taken a white-hot poker and stuck it in the fold between the bottom of my stomach and the top of my right thigh (the five out of five pain I mentioned). Now, this has been happening off and on since then, with varying degrees of pain from 1 to 5, on a scale of 1-5 (which is what the VA hospital likes to use). I also noticed a very serious rash near that area - on the lower part of my stomach a couple of inches above where the pain is centered. All I've been able to do about that is apply over-the-counter cortisone cream. I'm not feeling any pain or itching from the rash.

So, I don't think I'm going to die, but if I do this blog entry may provide some insight into what happened. Meanwhile, if anyone has any ideas, do let me know.

Oh, and if it turns out to be a basketball-size tumor and it gets covered by the press, I'll share that with you.